Everyday

Whitney starts kindergarten next week, and in preparation for the big day the kindergartners practiced riding the bus, with a parent, to and from school. So yesterday morning, Whitney and I climbed on the bus and road to her new school where we met her teachers, but more importantly for Whitney, she got to fill her cubby with school supplies. Her own little piece of real estate. I think I’ll start telling people my four year old successfully orchestrated a cubby acquisition. ...Continue Reading »

I thought you might be wondering what my work space looks like. Or not. Either way, I’m shoving it down your throat. Kind of like how the local radio stations keep insisting on playing that Katy Perry song. And yes, I know there are viable alternatives to the radio, however those alternatives would require someone like myself to keep track of her iPod. ...Continue Reading »

I know, I can't tell if they're ugly or not either... ...Continue Reading »

Many years ago, I was helping my dad clean out some portion of his hoarding house when he picked-up a black trash bag and began carefully placing crystal goblets into the bottom of the bag. And I may, or may not, have said, “You shouldn’t have nice things.” O.K. this was a very true disrespectful thing to say, and I probably deserved a time out. I wish I hadn’t said that to my dad. I wish I had just covered my eyes and thought of my happy place, which at that moment would have been a professionally organized walk-in closet complete with sparkly lighting, floor to ceiling mirrors and a dry bar.

I grew-up with this kind of bedlam so you’d think I’d be better prepared for the task of parenthood. Although, you could also draw the conclusion that slamming your hand in the side door of a minivan would better prepare one for a tax audit. For me, I’d take the pain of a crushed limb over an audit any day.

So yesterday while I was trying to put my life in order...doing laundry, organizing drawers...I heard screaming coming from the dining room. It was Ben screaming, and from the sound of it, I thought someone was shattering his knees with a baseball bat and threatening to take him shopping at T.J. Maxx. But it was worse. Someone had dumped water all over his MacBook. [It’s currently resting in stable condition, however it’s long term prognosis is still unknown.]

Now who could have saturated a perfectly good laptop? Oh, I don’t know, the child holding an empty spray bottle and a wet baby doll wrapped in a towel? The same child who’d earlier that day scribbled all over the ‘New Student Packet’ the school wants us to fill out, and return, on the first day of school. I think it’s safe to say, this is all the information the school needs to know about our family.

This is what kids do; they break your shit. It’s their big thank you for all the vomit you’ve scraped off their sheets and car seats you’ve installed in ninety-degree weather while mosquitoes fly up your skirt and the neighbor's dog pees on you ankles. And I get that. However, this life of theirs is not a rental car, and I will be billing them when Ben and I need to put down a cash deposit on the old folks home. For that purpose, a list. ...Continue Reading »