Wisconsin

Last week, it was above freezing and the sun was out. Yes, OUT! As in, the sun shines so rarely during these months, I suspect Mother Nature suffers from OCD and is worried that the sun could actually wear itself out and then what? Yes, WHAT?

It’s like when we were kids and we’d rapidly flip the wall switches on and off. On and off, and on and off until one of our parents would see the flickering lights, come bounding into the room, clutch their chests and lose all the color from their faces because WHAT WERE WE TRYING TO DO...BREAK THE HOUSE? Now that I’m a parent, I wonder if there’s any documented science behind that fear. Is it really possible for a six year old to wear out a wall switch? We’re talking about six year olds here. The ones whose attention spans won’t allow them to wipe all the food off their faces. Is there really a risk that these same six year olds can stand in one spot long enough to complete the task of destroying part of an electrical system? ...Continue Reading »

The last seventy-two hours have been brutally cold here in Wisconsin; I'm talking about the kind of cold that makes your skin feel like one big rug burn. Every time I step out the door, it feels like I’m sliding down a carpeted flight of stairs on my face. So a couple of nights ago, we thought, ‘Hey, you know what would be more fun than clipping our fingernails too short? Going out into the biting-cold night and buying a Christmas tree...that’s what!’ ...Continue Reading »

So yeah, life. Boy, it can feel like a caffeine-free, Monday morning sometimes, and then other times it can fill up your heart and inspire you to bake pie or open a fun-size candy bar wrapper. Have I mentioned, I’ve officially added fun-size candy bars as a fifth food group since week? Just writing that made me hungry for a Twix bar. You don’t mind if I chew while you’re reading this, do you? ...Continue Reading »

We woke up on Saturday and decided that we’ve been too good to our vascular systems and they owed us big, so we decided to treat ourselves to some burgers and fries at the Kiltie. For those of you unfamiliar with Milwaukee’s outlying suburbs, the Kiltie is an old fashioned drive-up burger joint. It’s been around as long as I can remember, and I suspect it’s been around long enough that its original patrons would have considered eating a veggie burger a sign that either you were a communist, or a gay. Could it mean you were a gay communist? No, they wouldn’t have wondered that. That thought would have caused their brains to pulsate and shoot out of random orifices. ...Continue Reading »