For the past couple of weeks I’ve been waking up early in the morning, before Whitney makes her way into our room. I lay very still in bed, breathe in the quiet, and stare out the span of windows in our bedroom which open up to the tree tops. I’m careful not to move a limb or turn my head, since I’m pretty sure toddlers have a heightened sensitivity to vibrations caused by the slightest movements. Waking-up without the "I NEED! I NEED!" alarm of angry, wet, hungry children is a true indulgence.
But then this morning, BAM, out of no where, I woke up in bed with a noose of anxiety wrapped around my neck. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, at some point last night Anxiety must have called his friend Insecurity and told her to get her badunkadunk over here and sit on my chest. Insecurity must have packed it on lately, because her weight was crushing. Those damned negative feelings just don’t take care of themselves!
So I rolled over and started Ben’s day off with I NEED! I NEED! “I need you to tell me why I’m having trouble relaxing and dislodging my shoulders from my ears!” We talked a little, and I realized that I’m just somewhat overwhelmed. It’s not like I’m charged with implementing the new health care reform legislation, but I do have three kids, an up-coming holiday and some deadlines. Which means I need to work and produce.
Work + deadlines + paycheck = a good thing.
Then there’s the BuenoBaby rebuild Ben and I have been working on together. We’re this close to re-launching the site. THIS CLOSE I tell you! I’m re-sampling the photo sizes so you'll be able to view them in larger format on the new site. Then there's all the content that needs to be uploaded. And just to make sure this project is as complicated and burdensome as possible, I'm re-editing all the posts, which makes Ben insane. Since, "They're great just the way they are Meredith!" Really...then why am I involuntarily twisting and contorting in my chair when I re-read them? I cringe at every word. If you were to sit on my desk and watch me edit those previous posts you'd think I was watching a bare-knuckled cage fight.
All I can say is how grateful I am that you’ve all stuck by and continued to read this drivel! Also, I’m glad there isn’t audio accompanying those posts.
The clean, unfolded laundry is piled up to my hip on the floor of our bedroom. And just so we’re all on the same page, this is officially where are clothes are now stored until further notice. There are calls to be made, and appointments to be set. Dinners to be prepared, and children to be bathed. There’s a cat to be mended, and hair to be colored.
We’d really like to tie-up the whole site rebuild project monster this week. Then I need to make some decisions about how BuenoBaby can grow up and start supporting itself. It can’t live in the basement forever without paying some rent, or at least taking out the garbage every once in a while for god’s sake!
In the meantime, I’ll be posting daily, however lightly. This will give me time to meet my deadlines and pack-up all the content from this site, and move it over to BuenoBaby’s new home. Ugh - hurry-up, someone punch me for writing that new home analogy. Like the site re-launch is some sad furniture store’s grand re-opening…"Located in it’s new home on Layton Avenue! Don’t forget, now with additional parking in the back!"
