I’ll be out of arm's reach of my keyboard for the next couple of days. I usually find the prospect of navigating through the many hours of the day without the guidance of my Twitter feed or FaceBook updates akin to making lane changes on the Chicago Loop without side mirrors. I mean, how will I know if any of my peeps are 'LOL' or if one of their 'hubs' is making them all 'WTF?'
However, this self-imposed online break is much needed. I’ll be spending a little ‘face time’ with Ben and the girls, and I’m really looking forward to it. In the meantime, while I’m away, I’ve lined up a couple of guest posts. Today’s post was graciously provided by Allison Zapata who publishes and writes Me and Mine.
I’ve never met Allison in person [I would consider her one of my ‘online friends’], but I’m pretty sure she’s the kind of girl who’d hold my hair back after fifty bucks worth of tequila shots.
'Woot, woot!'
Nothing: It's what's for dinner
I have a farm. A little farm in my computer. It’s where a lot of my friends live, too. In my computer. It works out great. I make all the calls. There are no surprise drop-ins. I only talk to them when I want to. I can turn them all off with the click of a button when I’m feeling anti-social.
I am so successful in my little internet world. Completely timely and responsible.
I keep my little Farm in tip-top shape. I am always organizing my animals and harvesting my crops.
I keep in touch with friends and family. I regularly initiate conversations with them via email. I am the one who reaches out. “Hey you, its me! I just wanted to see how you were?!! Love you!”
Did I mention I maintain a fucking farm? With horses, rabbits, ducks, trees (of all kind you guys)! Sometimes I harvest potatoes, sometimes watermelon. But, I never kill them and I make some pretty good coins off of them.
On the other hand, in my real life, the mum that is ten feet from where I am sitting, on my front porch, is dead. All the pretty purple mums, that I never transplanted to the actual pretty pot, look like little brown shriveled balls. My voicemail has about 25 unheard messages. I have Ben-Gay in the pantry and a bag of chips on my desk. I love all my friends dearly, but seldom call them first and sometimes don’t call them back at all! Oh, and don’t even get me started on my closets. Disaster.
I mean, really guys, I can spend 20 minutes maintaining a farm online, yet I cannot step outside and water my mum? For shame!
This got me thinking. I should create a software program that would allow me to organize my closets and pantry, water my plant plants, handle my relationships, and everything else going on in my real life, ONLINE! I would be god damn Super Woman if I excelled in real life like I do in my internet world.
The hubs would come home from work…
“What’s there to eat, babe?”
And I would tell him….
Log on to the computer, go to Local Disk (C:) – then go here - C:\Documents and Settings\Allison Zapata\My Documents\Nothing:It’sWhat’sForDinner.
Brilliant.
