I'm available to babysit your kids. You have the Spice Channel, right?

We babysat my nephew, Max, and niece, Mia, so that my brother, and his wife, could go out and eat ONE...DAMN...MEAL...sitting together from start to finish. Burp.

I’ll be honest, the first twenty minutes or so alone with all four kids felt like someone released a pillowcase of ferrets into my shower while I was shaving the backs of my knees. But turns out, my grandparents were right, a nip from the brandy bottle really does settle them down. Oh, you know I’m just kidding. That would be incredibly irresponsible and dangerous. I mean those kids could chip a tooth on a glass bottle.

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