That was fun. Now I have to lie down.

So yeah, life. Boy, it can feel like a caffeine-free, Monday morning sometimes, and then other times it can fill up your heart and inspire you to bake pie or open a fun-size candy bar wrapper. Have I mentioned, I’ve officially added fun-size candy bars as a fifth food group since week? Just writing that made me hungry for a Twix bar. You don’t mind if I chew while you’re reading this, do you?

Last Thursday I had one of those times when I thought unicorns and glitter might just pop forth from my bosom. A real pie baking moment...

Wisconsin public school teachers went shopping had their statewide teachers’ convention last Thursday and Friday leaving us panicky parents with four straight days of “We’re bored!” on a loop. So I kicked-off the weekend with a trip to the rink, and took Whitney and Heidi, along with Lexi and her friend, ice-skating. And yes, I know, 1 kid + 1 kid = 2 kids and 3 kids + 1 kid = a nervous breakdown. But that’s entertaining to watch too, right? Ice skating and a nervous breakdown; I just want my kids to have some fun.

Lexi and her friend put on their skates, stepped onto the ice and then stood there for the next two hours texting their friends. Whitney and Heidi held my hands, stepped onto the ice and then pulled their legs up to their chests. They went legless. However, by the end of the afternoon Whitney was skating on her own, which didn’t surprise me given her athletic ability and approach toward life. She is a glass half-full kind of girl, and I don’t know where that comes from because if you ask me whether the glass is half-empty or half-full, I’ll tell you the glass is half-empty and sweating on the table, and is probably going to leave a ring. Ask Whitney the same question and she’ll jump up and down and sing I LOVE GLASSES, I LOVE PARTIES, I LOVE PONIES and then giggle!

Whitney thought the ice was shiny and was all...I love shiny....I love the cold...I wonder what it feels like to fall...oops that hurt...HAHAHA...it’s OK...I’m back up! Lets do the Hokey-Pokey!!! And then, she let go of my hand and skated away, filling my heart with unicorns and glitter.

Now. Heidi. Ahhhhh. She is our daughter. No need to submit saliva samples for DNA testing with that kid! She has my coloring, and Ben’s worry, and my whining, and Ben’s eyelashes. If you ask Heidi if the glass is half-empty or half-full she will probably say...I no like glasses. They scary. I want my sippy cup! NO, NOT THE GREEN ONE! I NO LIKE THE GREEN ONE! I NO LIKE TO DRINK!

Now duck! Because she’s going to hurl that glass across the room.

It’s not that Heidi couldn’t skate on her own; she could. She’d hold my hand, skate a few feet and then root her face into my thighs and ask to go home. She alternated that fun with sitting on the bleachers and shaking from the cold, because that sounded like a better time than skating with mom. Also, she refused to wear her coat and mittens until her core temperature lowered to a frozen pizza, but that wasn’t going to ruin all her fun watching me flinch and squirm while she became hypothermic. Avoiding frostbite? Now’s where’s the fun in that? 

Then, when I thought I had her all figured out and got her to hold my hand and skate for more than three feet, she started spasmodically flapping her free hand. "Heidi, are you OK? Why are you flapping your hand back and forth?" Except she wouldn’t answer, because scaring mom into thinking she’s having a seizure, now that’s a good time!

Heidi will be starting K4 in the next year or two. Wisconsin Public School Teachers: brace yourselves.

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