Every six or seven weeks, Ben gets his haircut. Although, left to his own devices, he’d go longer in between appointments. BUUUUUT...he's a married man and his wife makes sure to nag remind him when he’s due for a trim. If it weren't for me, Ben's hair would be long and lustrous, and our girls would spend hours and hours brushing and braiding his man-mane. Hours and hours occupied and out from under my feet. [Inside thought: I wonder if Fabio babysits?]
“Ben, don’t forget to call for a haircut.”
“Gah! I hate getting my hair cut.”
[I said haircut, not a dialysis appointment.]
The last time I reminded Ben to get a haircut, he threatened to make an appointment at one of those new man-salons that cater to men in need of a haircut [or a girlfriend]. These sexless, middle-class, mini-mall brothels are staffed by well-endowed, female stylists who cut their clients' hair while their everything and ba-dunk-a-dunk hang out. It's like Hooters but for hair.
Me: “I can’t believe men like that kind of stuff.”
Ben: “Well, not me! Think about it, who wants to be staring at some woman’s chest covered in other men's hair clippings.”
[Inside thought: Exactly! Who wants a pair of boobs in their face with some other dude's hair clippings? Yes, because THAT'S where this all goes wrong!]
Me: “Women would never go for a place like that. However, if someone were to open a salon pandering to heterosexual women, they'd have to hire a bunch of hot, well-dressed meterosexuals who would listen to us talk about our feelings and emotions while they styled our hair. Throw in a little, "No, those jeans don't make your butt look big!"...and all the better!”
Comments
HA! He needs a place like the one J goes to. A bunch of barber dudes cutting hair while you have a beer, get a shave, and watch sports on tv. Whatever. Enjoy your man salon.
I'll bet you a haircut some of those barbers have boobs too.
My husband has not had a haircut since it was acceptable to break out flip-flops. Ok maybe not that long, but LONG. I've been telling him he needs to go to one of those man places because I thought they could help him with the over all man maintenance better then Super Cuts does....but now that I think about it. Boobs in his face, No thinks.
Hold up. You mean there's a time when flip flops AREN'T acceptable?
When my wife and I met, my hair was past my shoulders. This was, in part, my reaction to having spent nearly four years in the Army.
"Never again shall I have short hair," I proclaimed.
Long hair is a pain in the ass. My hair now is well within military regulations. I know it has gotten too long when I get out of bed in the morning and actually have to do something to it.
My wife has often indicated that I get it cut a bit too short. So, you know: the opposite of the thing with you and your husband. Is my point. I think. Pretty sure I had one when I started this.
If I had the facial bone structure for it, I'd wear my hair in a pixie cut. But I don't, and chopping my hair short would just emphasis my big round face and since big round faces aren't in this season, I wear mine long like Fabio.